Jewish Nation Fund
Jewish Post
CYBERAV
The Cyberrav is Rabbi Rafi Rank, spiritual leader of Midway
Jewish Center in Syosset, New York. His thoughts about Judaism and answers to your question fill this section. So, if you seek guidance - if you need clarity in your life -
who are you going to call ... the Cyberrav.

Rabbi Rafi RankCOUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

I’ve been asking people what they are grateful for this Thanksgiving, and many have been hard-pressed to vocalize their gratitude with specifics.  For those of you still searching for some ideas, I offer you the following pathetically incomplete list of 100 of my favorite things. Read More

 


A GRAVE QUESTION

At a recent family discussion, just after the funeral of a relative, some of my relatives said that it is not proper to visit other graves while at another funeral or unveiling.  Is this real Halakhah or just a bubemysah?
Read More


MENTALLY STABLE MURDERERS

Watching the media make excuses for the heinous actions of Major Nidal Malik Hasan, the army psychiatrist accused of murdering 13 fellow soldiers in Fort Hood, Texas, is reason enough to ask—what is going on?  He has, for example, been called “a nut case,” thus exonerating him for crimes committed.  Talk of the tremendous pressures combat soldiers presently endure would turn Hasan into a victim, not a perpetrator.  And my favorite, Time magazine’s Joe Klein blamed Jewish extremists for suggesting that Hasan’s actions were connected to Islam.  And there you have it—when all else fails, blame a Jew.  It’s fast, it’s inexpensive, and sadly, for far too many, it’s plausible. Read More


THE HALAKHAH OF TUMMY TUCKS

I truly enjoy your pulpit, CyberShul and synagogue news commentaries. They are uniformly insightful, succinct and entertaining (even if I don’t always agree). Your recent comments on the Jewish view of tattoos “spiked” my interest. I am curious about the current Jewish philosophical  view of cosmetic plastic surgery. Aren’t all those tummy tucks and facelifts that are not medically necessary also considered defiling the body? I am of course, not referring to reconstructive surgery due to injury, cancer or congenital anomalies. Or does it fall under the mitzvah of taking care of one’s health, including psychological and emotional health? Read More


SHOULD I STOP SAYING A MI SHEBEIRAKH?

Whenever my son is not present, I rise to say a prayer for the sick in his behalf.  Am I to stop at some point given that his condition is lifelong?  He was recently diagnosed with a disease, which sounds worse than it really is, but what means that he needs to take medication for the rest of his life and have periodic blood tests.  His skin will remain blotchy, clear up, and then return to an abnormal state.  There is no cure, just hope that one day this condition will go away.  He is handling it all so amazingly well!  I am convinced that God has definitely given him a wonderful gift--a fabulous, upbeat, positive attitude!!  He is so bright and optimistic, good-hearted, etc.  I so wish he did not have to endure this! Read More


IT’S EASY TO BE A JEW

It’s easy to be a Jew.  How about that for a new spin on an old idea!  And I mean no disrespect to that old Yiddish saying—Si shver sizein a Yid—it’s difficult to be a Jew.  For the first Jew who coined that phrase, living most probably in some European shtetl, impoverished, separated from schools of learning, separated from the trade guilds, exposed to the virulent attacks of a predominantly anti-Semitic society, and living obediently by the minutia of Jewish Law, being a Jew was no picnic. Read More


A SERIOUS REVIEW OF
A SERIOUS MAN

The Coen Brothers, famous for such block busters as No Country for Old Men, Fargo, and The Big Lebowski, have taken on their most ambitious subject yet: God. Though some characterize A Serious Man as a modern retelling of Job, it deals less with the evil that afflicts the righteous than with the existence of God Himself. The movie is extraordinary for its hutzpah, boldly portraying Jewish life in Minnesota, in the mid-sixties, without apology or explanation, complete with references to the goys, HaShem (God), and olam habah, Hebrew for the “world to come.” Read More


SLAVERY—THE UPSIDE

Imagine knowing that some evil is about to happen in the not too distant future and doing nothing about it.  Not a pleasant thought is it?  And yet, this is precisely what God intimates to Abram when He first establishes a convenant with His first most faithful servant.  God says, “Know well that your offspring shall be strangers in a land not theirs, and they shall be enslaved and oppressed four hundred years…” (Genesis 15:8).  If this is part of the small print of the convenant, would you agree to it? Read More


WHEN NOT TO SAY KADDISH

I hope your weekend with the students was a great one.  I have a question for you. Today my husband and son attended a Bar Mitzvah at a Reform synagogue on Long Island. I realize that the Temple is Reform and whenever I attend a Reform service I know that there will be a stark difference. But today was a bit unsettling.  We sat through a service primarily composed of quick versions of a limited number of prayers, extremely short Torah and Haftorah portions, untold number of family speeches, an incredible amount of the service in English (the total service was one hour with one hour of family and Bar and Bat Mitzvah speeches) and then the oddest request which resulted in the three of us looking at each other and being confused. Read More


WHEN THANKING GOD SEEMS CALLOUS

This past week, I ate in a kosher restaurant with a group of people from all different Jewish backgrounds.  Secular, Reform, Conservative, and Orthodox Jews all sat around the table. We were all in New York for a seminar on the Middle East conflict. At the end of dinner, the Orthodox men and women took out their benchers to say the Birkat Hamazon. I was torn whether to participate or not. Ultimately, I decided not to join in. Read More


GOD—A SOFTER, GENTLER VERSION

When retelling the biblical stories to our children, we sometimes leave out a few critical details.  My Nursery School director, whom I trust in all these matters, reminds me each year that when telling the tale of Esther, nobody dies.  When it comes to the story of Noah, our bowdlerized Bible becomes even more extreme.  This is a story about the end of the world due to widespread corruption and perversity, and yet we have the kids gleefully singing. Read More


MOON LANDINGS AND GOD

When Neil Armstrong landed on the moon, just about everyone watching that magical  televised moment recalled his famous words, “That’s one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind.”  It was a beautiful statement, expertly crafted, though with the transmission between moon and earth somewhat broken up by static, not everyone caught it at first. Read More


UNVEILING…AT A WEDDING?

A couple weeks ago I attended the wedding of a niece whom I love dearly. The wedding was, as I suspected, a real tear-jerker for me, but I was surprised to see her walk down the aisle without a veil. Kosher? I’ve never seen it. When I asked my kid sister about this (bride’s mother), she said her daughter had bristled at the idea of covering her face. She and her friends determined that it was yet another instance of men forcing women to be invisible in the world. The rabbi said, “Lose the veil!” Read More


INSIDE AND OUTSIDE THE LAND OF ISRAEL

After schlepping around in the wilderness for 40 years, and the B’nei Yisrael poised to enter the Promised Land, two tribes propose an alternative plan.  Reuven and Gad (that’s G-A-D, one of the tribes) propose to Moses that their two tribes not cross the Jordan, but remain in an area which we would presently identify as part of the Royal Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan. These two tribes did not want to cross the Jordan, because that territory was perfect for cattle, of which they owned an abundance. Read More


WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BAR MITZVAH BOY?

My son is extremely shy.  He is typically quiet in general, but when he gets into a crowd, he shuts down, PERIOD.  In school, his teachers know not to call on him to recite anything before the class.  He’s not dumb.  Thank God—his grades are the best in the class.  But he is saddled with a shyness that gets in the way of his socialization.  My husband and I are working on it together with a therapist. Read More


THE HYPOCRITICAL EATER

I grew up Orthodox:  Shabbos, tefillin, kashrus, the works!  I’ve strayed.  I had to work on Shabbos so I did.  I had to get to work early so I gave up daily davening.  And as far as kashrus went, I married someone who was willing to keep a kosher home but wouldn’t give up eating in restaurants. I couldn’t see keeping kosher at home and then eating in restaurants, so I essentially gave up on the kashrus thing altogether.  So I, too, eat out, though unlike my wife, I’ve never eaten pork or shell fish.  I guess it’s not in me. Read More


WELCOMING NON-JEWS TO OUR HOME

It looks as if Conservative Judaism is in the news these days as the movement seeks to define its approach to non-Jewish people within its congregations and organizations.  And this coincides with our parashah this week, in which Pinhas son of Elazar son of Aaron the High Priest is rewarded for slaying a Jew and his non-Jewish paramour.  One could use this as an example of Judaism’s passionate opposition to intermarriage, though that would probably be an erroneous read.  Remember Moshe himself has married someone who did not grow up Jewish so something else must be going on here. Read More


LOSING FAITH, WHEN WE NEED IT THE MOST

I have a good friend, an older Gentile man who is in his 70's. He has a large wonderful family. He is dying rapidly of cancer. I spent today with him. What I find so sad is that he has never had any type of faith and he has none now. It is so sad to see a person such as this. I attempted to comfort him to no avail, due to his lack of faith. What scares me is two-fold. If I were in a position of imminent death, would I hold true to my faith and should I be put into a situation that forced me to hold true to my faith, would I be able to sustain my faith and hold fast? Read More


MICHAEL JACKSON

This past week has been a week of celebrity deaths. Ed McMahon, Johnny Carson’s permanent side kick, passed on. Farah Fawcet of Charlie’s Angels fame passed away after a valiant battle with cancer. And then most recently, the very talented and popular Michael Jackson died suddenly at the age of 50. It is Jackson’s death, more than the others, that has shocked the world and created a very powerful international expression of grief and sorrow. Read More


SKIPPING THROUGH THE SUPPLICATIONS

I lead shivah minyanim.  It gives me great satisfaction to come into a person’s home and lead the prayers.  Prayers always strike me as a natural component in the granting of comfort to mourners.  But I wonder if that comfort factor is always present.  Recently, having led services in a home where the deceased died tragically, some of the words of the prayers, which ought to have brought comfort, failed.  To speak of a God who is compassionate, or who protects us, or saves us, or shields us, in the presence of a family mourning the loss of someone who was neither protected nor saved, almost seems cruel.  I left that shivah home feeling down in the dumps. Read More


A TAXING QUESTION

My daughter’s college decided on a raffle to help raise badly needed revenues for the school during this ugly recession.  My daughter had to sell at least two tickets, in accordance with school policy, so who buys them?  You guessed it—us, her parents!  While at the drawing, I said a little prayer to HaShem:  God—you know there are a lot of wealthy people in this room right now and although I’m sure they could use the money, I think our family could use it more.  So if we win, I’ll donate 10% to tzedakah.  Read More


SOTAH AND SAUDI ARABIA

President Obama has given an historic speech at Cairo University in which he has reached out to the Islamic world more publicly and dramatically than any other United States president before him. His address was deferential. He quoted from the Quran five times, each time referring to it as holy. He enumerated the contributions of Moslems to world civilization. He made mention of the 1200 mosques in America and the fact that Islam flourishes not only in the America of today, but has in many respects done so since the beginning of the United States, over two centuries ago. It was a speech interrupted multiple times by the applause of those gathered to hear it.  Read More


SEEING THE SOUNDS

Computers have become mini-home entertainment systems.  On their screens, you can play solitaire, watch TV, listen to music, and shop till you drop.  It’s all very distracting when the very same instrument used for work is also the machine used for play.  Fortunate are they who can do both simultaneously.  I’m not among the fortunate, but, a confession: I’ve been preparing for Shavuot by looking at a Beethoven symphony. I’ve been listening to it as well, but in this case, the real preparation comes in looking at Beethoven’s Ninth, which I’ve had the good fortune to do via the Windows Media player.  Read More


CHOOSE YOUR FESTIVAL— DAY ONE OR DAY TWO

In my business, it’s a busy time of year and I hate to say it, rabbi, but I have been working 24/7. Well, maybe not the “24,” but definitely the “7.” My partner is far more religious than I, and he tries to make it to services on a regular basis, though even during this time of year, he finds the idea of taking two days off in a row just impossible. He and I got into a discussion about which day is more important in a festival, the first or the second. We were talking largely about Shavuot which, as you know, is only a two day festival. Read More


HERE COMES d’JUDGE

We always hear about the greatness of the Sage Hillel, but I have my doubts. I came across a passage in Pirkei Avot, Ethics of the Fathers, which I found terribly upsetting. The passage reads, “Judge not your fellow until you have been in that person’s place” (Pirkei Avot 2:5). I find this teaching fundamentally wrong because if you think about it, it is absolutely impossible to ever be in another person’s place. To be in that person’s place, one would have to have that person’s past experiences, genes, family, income, anxieties, etc. Read More


SHAVUOT—A MENTAL WORKOUT

For some, Torah was given at Sinai, complete and intact, but that myth is crumbling as people begin to think of truth or Torah as a matter which has its own history and distinctive evolution. We can be proud of the fact that the Jewish people, more than any other people, gave the world monotheism. But what should bring us even greater joy is the value we have placed on study throughout the ages.  The life of the mind, a life in which truth is pursued daily and falsehoods discarded routinely, is the only life worth living. Read More


CONCRETE FAITH

I had a student in my office today who said she was having trouble understanding some of the abstract concepts I was teaching. We were learning about nuclear fusion in the sun, and it involves some nuclear reactions that don't really "make sense" if you think about them too much (e.g., Why does hydrogen fuse to become helium? -- It just does). Anyway, she said she also had problems with math, because it's so abstract. She then added that for a while she was an atheist for the same reason -- she couldn’t "see" it -- but eventually she just decided to believe.  Read More


TO THE POPE: SHALOM ALEIKHEM

This past week, I made it into the Israeli press. My name appeared in very small print, in an ad published in HaAretz, Israel’s equivalent of the New York Times, along with tens of other American rabbis who expressed their warm welcome to the pope. And I’m glad my name was there because the pope had a rough visit. Israeli commentators kept reminding their audiences that as a child, the pope was part of a Nazi youth group. His address at Yad Vashem was criticized for being deficient and distant. He never mentioned the Third Reich or the responsibility of his homeland, Germany, for the Shoah.  Read More


RUN IN WITH IRAN

It’s difficult to believe that one can honestly embrace religious principles without acting on them in some political capacity.  If you strongly believe in something, you want to make it happen.  By the same token, many such religious convictions are fraught with political complications or unforeseen consequences that make their promotion difficult in synagogue.  We debate the issues, but promote one side or another and you create a very unhappy community. Read More


MAY GOD MAKE YOU LIKE… LARRY, MOE AND CURLY?

One specific issue that came up today was about the Blessing of the Children and who Ephraim and Menashe were, why we bless our children to be like them, and why separate blessings for boys and girls. The girls, as you know, are blessed by stating that they be like Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel and Leah. I’m stumped. Read More


EXPLOITING THE HOLOCAUST

Trine Lilleng is the first secretary of the Norwegian Embassy in Saudi Arabia. Few know her but for the fact that she recently made this claim: "The grandchildren of Holocaust survivors from World War II are doing to the Palestinians exactly what was done to them by Nazi Germany." Her voice is not alone in this point. Gerald Kaufman, a British Member of Parliament, raised as an Orthodox Jew and Zionist, spoke of the Nazi soldier who murdered his ill grandmother as she lay in bed. He said, “My grandmother did not die to provide cover for Israeli soldiers who are murdering Palestinian grandmothers in Gaza.   Read More


VATICAN 2-DILOO…?

I have a question regarding the Pope's decision to reinstate “the Wayward Bishops."   These were the four bishops excommunicated 20 years ago for their rejection of Vatican II, a Church doctrine made official in 1965 which, in part, freed the Jewish people in the past and now of the charge of deicide (killing Jesus).  But one of the exonerated bishops is the British-born Richard Williamson, who in an interview as recently as this month (January 2009), stated that there were no gas chambers in Europe and that the Jews who perished in the so-called Holocaust figured no more than 300,000.  Read More


BILL MOYERS’ BIGGEST MISS

Shabbat Shalom, Everyone.  CyberRav here with a bit of Aural Torah for you!One of the worst commentaries on the Israeli invasion of Gaza comes to us via Bill Moyers, host of the PBS Journal Show.  It is such a morally bankrupt piece, it is difficult to know where to begin, but let’s give it a shot.Although he admits that “Hamas would like to see every Jew in Israel dead,” an observation which should put into context the nature of the enemy Israel faces, he goes on to say that “Israel did exactly what terrorists do.”   Read More


JESUS-FREE BENEDICTIONS

I don’t know about you but I was pretty unhappy about Rick Warren’s benediction at the inauguration. I was heartened by the beginning of the prayer, and saw the inclusion of the Sh'ma as a somewhat ham-handed attempt at inclusiveness. But I was offended by the conclusion--the inclusion of the Lord's prayer and concluding in Jesus' name.  Read More


GOING OUT OF BUSINESS? HA, HA, HA!

I write to you anonymously because I am too embarrassed to ask my own rabbi.  I consider myself a good person.  A hasid I’m not, but my wife and I keep a kosher home and I’m at shul, let’s say, once-a-month or more.  I love our rabbi and Yiddishkeit means a great deal to me.  The problem is my conscience.  I own a small retail dress shop that has been rather popular in the community, but like so many other businesses we’ve taken a hit.  Read More


MIRACLE ON THE RIVERS

Shabbat Shalom, Everyone. CyberRav here with a bit of Aural Torah for you! We’re all pretty quick to question God over the disasters that occur in life, but there are other times when God, deserving of praise, is overlooked or ignored. I want to make sure that doesn’t happen this week, when New Yorkers and good people around the world acknowledge the rescue of 155 people aboard US Airways 1549 out of LaGuardia, after its crash into the Hudson River. Governor Patterson of New York has referred to it as “the miracle on the Hudson,” and indeed it was.  Read More


WAY OUT OF PROPORTION

Listening to the critics of the Israeli incursion into Gaza is at one and the same time comical and scary.  The humor emanates from the twisted and tortured logic of bright people trying to make a distortion of truth sound good.  But there is a frightening factor in their words, because whatever influence those smart people wield, will determine whether people live or die. In recent days, Israel has been criticized for the intensity of its response to Hamas’ terrorism. Read More


WHY ISRAEL MUST BOMB GAZA

I want to tell you about a little Israeli town called Sdeort.  It’s a town of about 19,000 people.  By comparison, Plainview, NY, is a town of about 28,000, so you can imagine just how little a town like Sderot is.  Most of the residents are immigrants from Morocco, but there are also people there from Kurdistan and Romania.  It is not a wealthy city.  It is about on kilometer, or a half mile from Gaza.  Sderot has been in the Israeli news daily since Israel’s withdrawal from Gaza in 2005. 
Read More


CAN I, IN GOOD CONSCIENCE, SEND MY KID TO ISRAEL, NOW?

My daughter is leaving for Israel soon to study at Ben Gurion University until June.  Now my wife and I are a bit concerned about sending her given the war in the South (exactly where Ben Gurion is) and the missiles that are hitting various parts of Israel. Do you have any opinion on the issue? We are torn, but are continuing to plan for her trip.
Read More


JUSTICE, JUSTICE YOU SHALL… PURSUE?

Since you brought up the pursuit of justice, that too, has been weighing heavily on my mind. There is a culture of corruption in my firm. One of my major frustrations is that I have wanted justice. For me in the present, and for future people. Unfortunately, I have had to let that go as well. It's hard to do, but it has been freeing to let go of my insistence on justice. I have to accept that it may never happen. Or if it does, it will take some time—a lot of time. Read More


WHAT WE ARE MADE OF

These are tough times. The anxiety, worry, and in some cases, desperation, have never been more acute than in this period of economic downturn and recession. And now the Jewish community has been dealt a very personal blow with the arrest of Bernie Madoff, one of our own who is accused of running the biggest Ponzi scheme in history. Read More


More Cyber Rav Articles





Gaucher Disease

Need Tickets? All Major Events All the Time

cellularPLUS